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Ranelagh Strava Rundown #211: The Town Crier Speaketh 📣

Oyez, oyez!

Hear ye, hear ye, good folk of this fair Ranelagh Harriers land! Gather ’round, for tidings of great import shall now be proclaimed! By the decree of noble authority, it is my solemn duty to announce events gone, so that we may collectively rejoice in a grand celebration of the running endeavours that has graced our fair Strava town.

We begin with the proclamation of 6,741 club kilometres over 778 activities, proving that the waning days and encroaching nights have no power or sway over those vying for club glory.

In the many games of pace and contests of cadence, that longest of distances; the Centurion Autumn 100 miles was conquered by the Grand Duke Bruce McLaren and Earl Gareth Williams. Both noblemen overcame physical ailments to reach their destination in 23rd and 24th place respectively, all within 20 hours of starting. A magnificent achievement worthy of much feasting and dancing.

In the hallowed countryside of Oxfordshire, Sir Matt Hirschler fought his way to a new PB (78:31) to take 75th place in the Oxford half. Oooop North and over t’ wall in the Yorkshire marathon, the charming Viscountess Nicola Douglas made us proud with a sand-timer defying time of 3:02:02. Whilst the fair Lady Natalie Haarer donned her finest (race) attire to yield a speedy 1:08:47 in the AJ Bell Great South Run. Truly we are proud to salute our champions to loud and rightful acclaim.

Closer to Ranelagh land, a grand event of the genus Brassica took place, organised by our friendly rivals in The Stragglers Kingdom. From the humble abode that is the Cabbage Patch pub, knights and ladies of kindred spirits from far across our empire gathered to pit their wits against one another in a singular 10 mile contest.

The day dawned bright and cold; the rivalry was intense, yet the camaraderie was heartwarming. Ranelagh honour was ensured by the performances of Viscount James Whistler (56:51) and Baron Chris Davidson (57:21 | 40 sec PB), both running strong despite their Surrey Cross Country battles the day before. The Marquess Mike Morris achieved second V50 glory (58:25); like Viscount Whistler and Baron Davidson, the Marquess had also skirmished the day before to 4th place at the Serpentine Handicap.

Fastest Rane-lady at the clash of Cabbage Patch was young Lady Lucy Urbas (1:08:02), followed by the equally valiant Lady Molly Riglin (1:08:08). Also stirring hearts and minds alike were the efforts of Squire Ric Motti (1:23:42), with a PB of 6 minutes. Forsooth and verily there were many brave denizens flying Ranelagh colours on this glorious day – to one and all, we salute you with much mirth, music and merriment!

But the grande bataille was on Saturday at the first match of the Surrey Cross Country League. Hosted in our fair realm on the fields of Richmond Park, despite the shortest of notice for the battle lines (aka organisation) to be drawn; the call to arms were heard and responded to from far and wide (aka Surrey).

Over 800 combatants gathered to partake in this splendid affair, with many vying for the prizes of great worth and honour. The riotous colours of the escutcheons on display reflected the many champions-to-be keen to earn their rightful acclaim. From hill to dale, through bracken and over tree (stump), the tournament saw allied sprits run their hearts out, avoiding hind and hart in their fight for glory.

From the sides, the citizens of Ranelagh Harriers supported all participants, offering cheers of encouragement, shouts of approval alongside directional instructions. Despite the ferocious competition of the knaves of Belgrave and the blackguards of Clapham Chasers, the fair and brave members of Ranelagh nobility – of all ages and genders – ran true, strong and proud to keep our land’s dignity intact.

Our fair ladies had 2 finishers in the top 30, and commendable performances saw Dame Liz Kipling take 3rd V50; whilst Baroness Ruth Gledhill and Countess Sally Bamford finished an impressive 9th & 10th V60 respectively. Honours too to our juniors, young Lady Laura Graham (14th overall in U13) and the impressive Lady Siena Lepine (52nd in a very competitive U17 race).

The battle for all mankind (as opposed to womenkind) was bloody and furious; with the knaves of Belgrave slaying all competition without compassion or mercy. Yet our brave knights showed purpose and resolve as they marched forth in their collective strength, working together to overcome all adversity.

Over 25 of our strong men took to the jousts, confronting the enemy – to the end, Squire James Hall came through as first Ranelagh, with Squire Peter Cook, making his cross-country debut taking a commendable 2nd Ranelagh. Earl Jonny Smith showcased his valour in 3rd while Squire Joe Killip, also making his debut, showed his promise with a 4th place Ranelagh score.

Our remaining warriors scoring were Counts David Ready and Lawley, Baron Chris Davidson, Viscount Ed Perry and Earl Ted Mockett; with the last of the Ranelagh lists scorers taken by Squire Jordon Mungovan (fresh off a flying contraption that same morning). A final commendation to Lord Graham Weller who scored 1st Ranelagh for the B team, despite only taking to his (running) steed 6 months ago.

After 6 jousts, the day’s festivities came to an end. Acclamation to members of the immediate organising committee: Grand Duke Andy Bickerstaff and Town Crier Narissa Vox, who were ably and immeasurably supported by Archduke Trevor Maguire and Prince Simon Martin; as well as the many townsfolk of Ranelagh Harriers land who attended in various capacities to ensure the day’s success.

Thus, we end this declaration with a call to show purpose and resolve, to continue our march forth into the morrow, for in our collective strength lies the power to overcome any challenge. As one, we of Ranelagh Harriers Land will stand tall, resilient and unyielding as our brave knights and ladies chart a course to a brighter (cross-country) dawn.

Let this proclamation be etched in memory, and let all prepare to revel in the festivities, as we draw these announcements to a close. Spread the word, good folk, so that running joy and camaraderie be our companions in days to come; forever a testament to our club unity and resolve!

Oyez, oyez!

💙 Surrey Cross Country League Div 1 Match 1 | 14 October 2023: Provisional Results (Ladies) >

💛 Surrey Cross Country League Div 1 Match 1 | 14 October 2023: Provisional Results (Men) >


🎄 Ranelagh Christmas Party 🎄Saturday 2 December @ 6pm

Join us for a jolly Ranelagh Christmas Party at The Anglers pub in Teddington (by the lock) on Saturday 2nd December from 6pm until late. We have the restaurant area reserved just for our festive gathering with options for a 2 course (£40pp) or 3 course (£44pp) Christmas dinner, catering for all dietary requirements.

This Christmas soiree is the perfect time to mingle with fellow members and share the joy of the season together. Partners and significant others most welcome. You can book your place and make your menu selection @ 👈

Last date for booking is Friday 17th November. We can’t wait to celebrate with you and look forward to the 2nd December 🥳


The Leaderboards

🥇 Bruce McLaren 171km
🥈 Gareth Williams 168.4km
🥉 Jonathan Moore 106.5km

🥇 Amanda Munro 76.1km
🥈 Suzy Whatmough 75.5km
🥉 Sophia de Rivaz 74.3km


🥇 James Graham 1,545m
🥈 Bruce McLaren 1,430m
🥉 Gareth Williams 1,394m

🥇 Sophia de Rivaz 662m
🥈 Victoria Martin 508m
🥉 Suzy Whatmough 497m

Get Involved:
1. Join the Strava group:
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3. Check back here every week for highlights
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Ranelagh noblemen ready to battle for all mankind

june, 2024

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In this section:

Surrey cross country league standings

LeagueTeam PositionFull details
Ladies Div 17/15league table
Men Div 18/9league table
Ladies Div U159/16league table
Men Div U15/U1716/18league table